Danish

Husband finishes chewing his first bite of dinner, “Jim Knightly is a son-of-a-bitch. Do you know why he is a son-of-a-bitch? — that son-of-a-bitch is always in line in front of me at the bakery, no matter how early I get there, and he always gets the last fucking cheese danish. I could show up as they are unlocking the doors at 4AM, and I bet he’d be there, already in line somehow. And he bought two danishes! The nerve of that guy. His gluttony knows no bounds. Other people want cheese danishes in the morning! He’s not the only person in the world! They only make six danishes in the morning and then when they run out I have to wait fifteen minutes for the next batch. FIFTEEN MINUTES! I have to get to my JOB, Jim, you son-of-a-bitch. The job that YOU also work at. He doesn’t even know my name, he always calls me “Bob”, or “Steve”, or “Jacob”. My name is Larry, you asshole! God that guy is such a prick. I’m sorry sweetheart, I just had to get that off my chest. How was your day? Anything new?”

“I had a lovely cheese danish this morning,” Wife replies.

2 thoughts on “Danish

  1. I’d be glorious if she asked for a cheese danish instead of a divorce.

    I bet Jim Fucking Knightly!, that son of a bitch, would give one to his fucking wife.

    I hope she gets the kids.

    Like

    1. Yeah this one auto-published before I realized that it was a slightly older version. I just updated it to the new version. Some slight changes, but they make all the difference 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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