Vote on episode 35 of The Void Cow
“Does anyone have a grudge against you? Why would you think someone would curse you?”
“I’m, like, ridiculously good looking.” I repeat with a wink.
Two guards standing behind me put their hands on the handles of their swords. Queen Brandy stays their hands.
She inspects me. “So what you’re telling me is that you don’t know who cursed you or why.”
“Well, I did just say—“
“And you probably didn’t even know that you were cursed. Not too bright, are you.”
“Well, my Queen, with all due respect, your throne room is poorly lit.”
A guard behind me sighs and says, “Queen, let us take care of this idiot for you. I mean, how’d they pass the tests to get recruited into your Majesty’s royal army in the first place?”
“I did really well on the physical test.”
“And your uncle is a general.” The Queen adds.
“Queen Brandy, I’d love to keep talking about how stupid I am but I have an important letter to deliver to you.”
She holds the doctored letter in question up. “This one?”
“…Yes. That one.”
She admires the seal. “Seal is from King Milquetoast of Auburn. You’re telling me someone rode through the Buttcrack Trail to have this delivered to me?”
“Oh my god, I call it the Buttcrack Trail, too! Captain hates it when I call it that. I can’t wait to tell her Queen Brandy, our royal Highness—“
“And this letter was delivered directly from their courier’s hands to yours, and then from my guard’s hands—while you were unconscious—to mine? No one else touched this letter, is that correct?”