Cheese Danish

The Dúrs chewed their first bites of dinner. 

“How was your day,” Mrs. Dúr asked between bites. 

“Awful. That Jim Knightly is a piece of work,” Mr. Dúr spat. “That asshole always finds a way to get to the bakery before me. It’s like he knows when I’m leaving in the morning! How does he do it? Does he hide in the bushes? Did he sneak cameras into our house somehow?”

Mr. Dúr wagged his dirt-encrusted finger at his wife. “And he always takes the last cheese danish. I could show up as they unlock the doors and I bet he’d be inside already and in line with that shit-eating grin of his. 

“All I wanted was a goddamn cheese danish today and he took the last two. Two!” Mr. Dúr’s voice grew shrill. “He bought two danishes today! The nerve of that greedy fuckloaf. His gluttony knows no bounds. It’s not like an asshole like him has a girlfriend. You know he’s keeping them both to himself. Unless he has a mistress hidden away somewhere. Even then, I bet an asshole like him would scarf them both down right in front of her!”

Mr. Dúr slammed the table, spilling a bit of Mrs. Dúr’s beverage. She instinctually dabbed the spill with a napkin.

“Other people want cheese danishes in the morning, too,” He continued, “He’s not the only person in the world! They only make six danishes in the morning and when they run out I have to wait fifteen minutes for the next batch. He knows that makes me late for work. He doesn’t even work the morning shift! He rolls in at ten o’clock, smug as a bug.”

Mr. Dúr drained his beer. “He was also late today! Didn’t show up until after lunch. And they just let him. Jim Knightly gets to do whatever he wants, I suppose! They think he’s a fucking genius or something. Ridiculous. That shitbag doesn’t even know my name, he always calls me ‘Bob,’ or ‘Steve,’ or ‘Joe.’ My name is Larry, you prick! Larry-fucking-Dúr!” 

Mr. Dúr wiped his filth and anger on his napkin and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I just had to get that off my chest. How was your day? Do anything fun?”

“I had a scrumptious and…filling cheese danish this morning,” Mrs. Dúr replied.